


It goes a little like this

by suyari



Series: Vell Series [4]
Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Matchmaking, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 06:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suyari/pseuds/suyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy is fed up with all the dancing. It’s time for a drastic intervention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It goes a little like this

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Despite my deepest wishes, Young Avengers does not belong to me, and so, I can only borrow them.
> 
> As for the percentage Billy quotes, this is based on an average of the numbers out there, and my own interpretation of how that average translates to their world.

“ _Please_ tell me today’s the day,” Tommy moaned, dropping into an arm chair. One leg hung over the arm, bouncing slightly.

Billy noted he’d raided the last of the S’mac. Unless, he’d run out for some, which was always a possibility. Other than wondering if his brother had left any Mac ‘n Cheese for the rest of the family, Billy studiously ignored him.

Tommy never _was_ one for silences. Even _before_ his powers had come in. “Bill,” he wheedled, around a healthy bite. “Come on, do me a favor and suck it up and just ask him out or something. I swear! If I have to hear any more…” His voice pitched up an octave and he made a rather obscene gesture with his hand at hip height, tossing back his head for full effect. “ _Oh Teddy…Oh Teddy…OH-_ mmff!”

Billy pulled his book closer to his face to hide how red he’d gone. Tommy’s arm flailed wildly enough to create a breeze as Billy made sure the pillow followed his twin’s head as he tried to free his mouth to keep teasing him.

There was a sound much like an air gun firing and it was suddenly raining feathers.

“Fratricide’s not going to solve your problem,” Tommy drawled.

“Can’t hurt,” he remarked. “That was Mom’s favorite pillow.”

“What _doesn’t_ Mom have a favorite of around this house,” his twin complained, watching the pillow reconstruct and drop back unto the couch as if nothing had happened. He shoveled another spoonful of food into his mouth. “And don’t change the subject.”

“I didn’t,” Billy replied, flipping a page. He hadn’t been paying attention to what he’d been reading, but Tommy paid attention to everything, and he’d know something was off if Billy read too slow or too fast. It was difficult, playing poker with his twin. “You did.”

“Whatever, you’re missing the point.”

“And what might that be?”

“You’re a chickenshit.”

“ _Excuse_ me?” Billy replied, book dropping into his lap. “Who had me _zombie_ proof their bedroom after watching Race Killers Four?!”

“Zombies are a legitimate concern people take _way_ too lightly!”

“On _what_ planet?!”

“You’re changing the subject again!”

“I’d be more concerned about _Ninja_ if I were you. At least they’re _real_.”

“Ask Teddy out!” Tommy snapped. Billy blinked as his brother’s face was suddenly in his, hands clutching him high on the arms. “I am _begging_ you! This sappy, eternal teenage UST is going to kill me!! Do you have _any_ idea how sickening it is to watch you two moon over each other when the other’s not looking?! It’s been like a million years! Fuck or something. Get it out of your system. But please, _please_ do it before I’m forced to _vaporize_ one of you for my own sanity!!”

“…Did you just _shake_ me?”

“AGH!”

“Ugh, I hate it when you do that. I always feel nauseous.“ He shoved at his brother’s chest weakly. “…I think I’m going to hurl…How many times do I have to tell you to leave my molecules alone?”

Billy pushed himself up, a hand to his stomach and paused when the doorbell rang. He looked to his twin curiously. Tommy made an aggrieved sound. “You forgot he was coming over again, didn’t you?”

Billy’s eyes went wide. Tommy sighed heavily as he bolted for his room like a deer a hunter had just grazed. “I swear…” he grumbled, getting up to answer the door. “One of these days…” His hand vibrated, disturbing the air about it until it hummed. “Poof.”

“Hey, Teddy,” Tommy greeted, pushing the door open morosely.

“Hi, Tommy,” replied the blond, entering the house and closing the door behind him. “What’s up?”

“The usual. Actually, Teddy, what’s worse? Zombie or Ninja?”

Teddy thought about it. “Zombie Ninja,” he concluded as they entered the living room.

Tommy paused in the reclaiming of his snack. “…Hey Biiiiiilly…?”

“Fuck…off…” came the reply from between heaves.

“Did you vibrate him through something again before asking a favor?”

Tommy waved a hand dismissively. “He’ll do it for me anyway eventually.”

“That’s what you said about that Quicky Mart Big Gulp,” Teddy said in all seriousness, picking up Billy’s book and dropping into his previously vacated seat. He paused, taking in the page number and flipped a few pages before settling back.

“…I’ll be right back!—Don’t eat my S’Mac!”

 

‘~*~’

 

“You are _both_ pathetic,” Tommy drawled. “Seriously, _pa-the-tic_. I leave you alone for FOUR HOURS – ALONE, in the WHOLE EMPTY, FAMILY-LESS HOUSE and you guys play WARCRAFT online the WHOLE time?!”

“We were questing!”

“God spare us all from your equivalent idiocy. Bill, do you even know HOW to make out with someone?!”

“Keep your _voice_ down,” his twin hissed. “Mom’s home!”

“You are going to die a virgin.”

“Get out of my room,” the darker twin moaned, going to his bed. He grabbed his pillow and dropped into the bed, hugging it.

Tommy closed the door instead and went to sit down next to him. “Billy…” He grabbed the pillow and tugged it free as his brother tried to smother himself with it. “Bill, I’m serious…”

Billy looked up at him. He was frustrated, he was scared, fuck, he was going to cry.

“What’s the big problem? Just tell me. You’ve been in love with Teddy since like second grade. You used to draw little hearts ‘Billy-Vell’ all over your stuff.” He gestured, as if writing. “Whenever we had sleepovers, Teddy _always_ had to sleep in your room. You were more amorous at eight than you are at sixteen. Did mutating fritz out your lust receptors or something?”

Billy scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm.

“Are you worried he’s not going to like you? ‘Cause that’s just stupid. He’s your best friend. He’s been your best friend since you met. If he didn’t like you he wouldn’t be coming around. Hell, if he didn’t like you, I’m pretty sure we would have stopped seeing him entirely a _long_ time ago, seeing as Teddy and I never got along as kids. All those years you fought me to keep him around, I finally cave and you’re going belly up when you should be bent over.”

His twin gave him a put upon look.

“What? It’s the truth. You’re gay and you don’t even talk about it. We all know. It hasn’t stopped anyone from being your friend yet.”

“That’s just the point.”

It was difficult, but Tommy forced himself not to reply. Billy was finally opening up – after what felt like an eternity of Tommy poking him about it – interrupting him would be counterproductive.

Billy sighed and sat up, pillow in his lap. “Teddy’s my best friend. And yeah…I am in love with him. But, that’s the problem!”

Tommy blinked. Even _his_ mind was having trouble putting all the pieces together – which was a feat, and something only Billy ever seemed to manage. “…And?” he coaxed, when it didn’t look like his twin was going to continue.

“I…I don’t know if I could…survive Teddy rejecting me. Or _worse_ , dumping me.”

The ‘Ahhh’ must have showed on his face, because Billy curled up and dropped his face into the pillow. “I _am_ going to die a virgin,” he moaned, voice muffled. “I’ll never even get kissed.”

Tommy’s brows shot up. This…This was a bigger problem than he’d originally thought.

 

‘~*~’

 

“I’m telling you, Cass, it’s a train wreck. I have to fix this.”

“Maybe if you stopped trying to _force_ him into stuff-“

“Are you kidding?! Billy’d have absolutely _no_ life experience if it weren’t for me.”

Cassie sighed, but didn’t argue.

Tommy paced the length of her room, considering.

“Hey, Tommy?”

“I KNOW!”

Cassie clutched the bottom of her nightgown as Tommy sped away. She was fixing her hair when he came back. Her eyes widened slightly. “This…is a _bad_ plan. I’m calling Eli-” She gasped as Tommy caught her, one hand over her’s and the other against her shoulder.

“Please don’t tell him. He’s only going to go on and on about how stupid it is and how it’s not going to work.”

“I don’t think it _will_ wor-”

“And he’ll tell Teddy and Billy and it’ll be this whole _thing_ …”

“Tommy-”

“Pretty please, don’t tell? I’ll take you somewhere _ni-ice_. Just you and me. What do you say? You keep quiet about this and I’ll take you anywhere you want to go anytime you decide. The whole trip’s on me!”

“You’d—you’d _really_ -?”

He drew over his heart with a finger. “I super skrull swear!”

“…Okay.”

“Thanks, Cass!” he replied, pecking her on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

 

‘~*~’

 

 **User wiccathisway has signed on**  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Hey. Thought you had that meet up today.  
 **wiccathisway:** I did. Tommy did something stupid so…  
 **NanothrcAstle:** One of these days _he’ll_ rescue you. Keep the rain checks for when the bill comes in.  
 **wiccathisway:** There’s not enough Apocalypse in the _world_.  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Careful what you wish for.  
 **wiccathisway:** Yeah, me of all people.  
 **wiccathisway:** You free?  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Aren’t I always?  
 **wiccathisway:** What about Murky and Lurky?  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Planning on getting us arrested?  
 **wiccathisway:** ;)  
 **wiccathisway:** I was thinking maybe more like a date.

 

**NanothrcAstle is typing**

**NanothercAstle is typing**

 

 **NanothrcAstle:** Seriously?  
 **wiccathisway:** …Yes? Maybe? Umm…if you want to?  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Yeah, I…Yeah. Sounds good. I mean, if you want to.  
 **NanothrcAstle:** You are awake, right?  
 **wiccathisway:** Yeah.  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Am _I_ awake?  
 **wiccathisway:** I’m pretty sure.  
 **NanothrcAstle:** So this is really happening?  
 **NanothrcAstle:** We’re going on a date?  
 **wiccathisway:** Yes?  
 **NanothrcAstle:** Okay. Okay, yeah. Let’s do this.

 

‘~*~’

 

“What if it backfires?” asked Cassie, leaning into Tommy’s arm so she could see what he was typing.

“It’s not going to backfire.”

“But what if it does?”

“It won’t.”

“How did you get Teddy’s cell phone anyway?”

“ _Practice._ ”

“Does Kl’rt know?”

“Probably,” he replied grumpily. “My nose isn’t broken.”

“Can you fake Teddy as well as you can fake Billy?”

“It’s not faking when it’s what they want to hear.”

“This is going to backfire.”

 

‘~*~’

 

 **You:** Hey.  
 **Billy:** Hey. Just getting out of my meeting. You should come next time, it was awesome.  
 **You:** I should. Got any plans for the rest of the night?  
 **Billy:** Nothing pressing. Why?  
 **You:** Wanna go out?  
 **Billy:** Sure. Have anything in mind or are we gonna play Gypsy?  
 **You:** Yeah, actually, I do.  
 **Billy:** Gonna share with the class?  
 **You:** How about a date?

 **Billy:** …Seriously?  
 **You:** Yeah, I mean…if you want to.

 

‘~*~’

 

“Is that Billy?!” Cassie hissed as Tommy’s phone rang.

“Shh!” he replied, pressing a finger to her lips. “Hey Bill, what’s up?”

“Where are you?”

Tommy covertly pressed ‘speaker’. “Out with Cass. Say hi, Cass.”

She bit her lip, but responded to the urging of his eyes. “Hi, Billy!”

“Hi, Cass! Am I on Speaker?”

“Yeah.”

“Turn it off? No offense, Cass.”

“No problem!” she chirped, managing to not squeak.

“What are you up to?”

“I’m offended.”

“Tommy, I swear…if you’re behind this…”

“Behind what?”

“Behind…Teddy.”

“What about Teddy?”

“Did you tell him anything? If you did, I will wipe you from existence!”

“Mom’d bring me back, you’d get grounded and end up going to therapy with Strange.” He waved a hand at Cassie, whose eyes had gone wide, lip wibbling and tucked between her teeth. “I swear on our twinhood I didn’t tell Teddy a thing.”

Billy sighed heavily.

“Why?” he asked, waggling his brows. “Did something _happen_?”

“Wherever you are, stay there,” his twin moaned.

Tommy grinned. “I make no promises.”

 

‘~*~’

 

 **Billy:** Sorry, Tommy. Yeah, Teddy. I’d like to. I’d like it a lot actually.  
 **You:** …Really?  
 **Billy:** Yeah…Really.  
 **You:** Good. I mean..yeah, good.  
 **Billy:** Yeah. Good.

 

‘~*~’

 

“They’re going to **_kill_** you! They’re going to kill **_us_**!”

“Cass, calm down. No one’s going to die. Okay?”

She stared at him.

“I promise, in the highly unlikely event that we _do_ get caught, I’ll take ALL the blame for it. You are just an innocent bystander. I asked you to go to the movies, that’s all. You didn’t know a thing!”

“They’re not going to _believe_ that!”

“They will if you don’t panic. And in the highly likely event this actually all _does_ work out?”

She blinked at him.

“You and I went on a date, kiddo!”

He watched it sink in and smiled as she finally caught on.

“Come on,” he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s get the hell out of dodge.”

“…Aren’t we going to spy on them?” She seemed to catch what she’d said, and covered her mouth with a hand on a gasp. “I mean…to make sure it goes all right! You know just in case they need rescuing or something!”

Tommy grinned. “That’s why _we’re_ here forty-five minutes early,” he replied, waving the tickets at her. “Concession stand, here we come!”

 

‘~*~’

 

Leave it to the both of them to arrive at the exact same time.

“Umm…Hi.”

“H-hi.”

“So…”

“Yeah! Yeah, let’s…let’s…tickets…” Billy finished lamely.

Teddy smiled, and scrubbed at the back of his neck.

“Can’t believe we haven’t seen this yet,” the blond commented as they paid for their tickets.

“Yeah, I know. I guess, we’ve just been…busy.”

“Yeah…”

They headed to the concession stand. So far, beyond the stuttering, clearly aware this was a date flailing, they were falling in as per their usual. Billy paid for the tickets, Teddy paid for the food - they didn’t even have to discuss it. Even their order was nice and safe and familiar, completely non negotiable because it never changed. They sat in the same spot in the theater they always sat in, with the super large soda they always shared in the holder between them. Billy had the pretzels in his lap, and Teddy had the popcorn and for a few minutes it looked like they were easing into things. Then of course, the lights dimmed and they both jumped.

The uneasiness actually lasted a few previews, which was surprising, but a good sign. They needed to realize they could be themselves; that it wouldn’t work unless they were. They needed to forget it was a date and date. Then the Starman trailer came on and it was a green light. Teddy leaned into Billy to whisper the first comment of the night. Billy’s shoulders shook with mirth, and his hand seesawed at the screen. Teddy shook his head and made an axing motion. The rest of the movie worked like clockwork.

The movie carried them all the way home, the pair of them talking and acting no different than usual. Even the pattern they were following wasn’t out of the ordinary. Whomever’s house was closest to where they’d gone was walked to first, and then whomever still had a few blocks superpowered it. The real deal sealer was the door.

Knowing Billy was the likelier of the two to freak out, Tommy had purposely arranged it to go the way Teddy generally preferred it. Billy first.

The pair stood on the stoop for a while, relaxed, joking, completely at ease. It wasn’t until they ran out of movie fueled geek speak that it got awkward.

“Well,” said Billy, shifting against the brick railing. “I had fun.” He smiled up at Teddy, who stared down at him. Teddy, who didn’t say anything. Billy pushed off the railing, nervous, defaulting all systems to panic. He just didn’t know his own power.

Teddy’s hands caught both his shoulders and he swooped in for the kiss like a bird of prey. Perhaps not nearly as focused, but definitely as determined. Billy’s eyes shot open, hands flying up to catch at Teddy’s elbows. The shock only lasted until Teddy tilted his head and ran the tip of his tongue across the brunette’s lips. Billy sunk into him with a moan and opened his mouth. His arms wrapped around Teddy’s neck, and Teddy’s drew him close about the waist.

Cassie’s hands dug into Tommy’s arm with excitement and he turned to smile at her. She smiled back and did a small fist pump of victory. Tommy beamed and picked her up. Her arms wound about his neck and they left the pair to it.

 

‘~*~’

 

“See, I told you it’d all work out. God, I’m good!”

Cassie laughed. “I seriously thought we were gonna die.”

Tommy looped their arms as he walked her to her door. “Not on my watch, Cass.”

“It was kinda fun, wasn’t it?” she replied, tilting her head. “Not exactly the nicest thing to do, but-”

“It worked.”

“Yeah, it did.” She hugged his arm. “You did a good thing tonight. All things considered.”

He bumped her hip with his own. “ _We_ did a good thing tonight.”

“Yeah…Yeah, we did, didn’t we?”

“Good night, Cass.”

“Night, Tommy.”

“Oh and Cass?”

“Yeah?”

He smiled as she blinked, in shock at having been kissed. “Thanks a lot. This meant everything to me.”

“Any…any time…”

He waited until she’d made it inside before running home. He grinned when he saw they were still at it.

“Not to break up the lovefest or anything, but you guys think I can get through the door sometime this century?”

They pulled apart dazedly, and gazed all moon eyed at each other for the first time.

Tommy smirked. “Bill, Ted, shimmy or something.”

He didn’t expect them to both look at him. “Late night?” his twin asked huskily, practically melting into Teddy’s chest.

“Date night,” Tommy replied with a grin.

“About time,” Teddy murmured.

“Could say the same thing about you two,” he replied, passing them now that the doorway was available.

“Hey, Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t-”

“Best Friends,” they chimed like newlyweds.

Tommy shook his head. “You were both being idiots, I’m not apologizing.”

“No one’s asking you to,” Teddy replied.

“Just tone down the flirting with boys or Cassie might squash you.”

“I did what I had to,” he replied with dignity.

“Seventy percent of all identical twins share a sexuality, Tom.”

“This thirty percent is going to bed, Bill.” He pointed at Teddy. “Second base only! Don’t make me come out here!”

The door slammed in his face with a bright blue tint.

Tommy chuckled and headed into the house. “Damn, I’m good.”


End file.
